"I Love You" Is a Meaningless Phrase
In the past, I had written
an article in Arabic discussing how
common it is for people to use the word "love" to mean something completely
different (if related). Here I'm going to rewrite and extend that article,
focusing on phrases that "love" appears in them and how much they are
(un)related to the emotion best known as love.
TL;DR
It seems that most people confuse love (an emotion) with romantic stuff. While
all human relationships in general involve some kind of love and respect, we
shouldn't equalize love with them. Friendships, kinships, romantic
relationships, etc do involve love (sometimes mutual), but all I hope for is to
opt for a better, more consistent diction.
In summary: we should use distinct words, one for love, and one for romantic
attraction/relationship/etc. Let's see why.
Pre-note
In this article, whenever I say love (without quoting) I mean the
emotion that one can have toward a specific thing or action, like in:
I love this place
I love this game
I love this drink
I love this person
which actually expand to (in most cases):
I love being in this place
I love playing this game
I love consuming this drink
I love being with this person
"I Love You"
This is arguably the most stupid phrase that is very common to hear. I know, in
some particular cases it's very appropriate, like when expressing you
actually love someone (or something, or some action), but in other
cases, like "confessing your love" to someone (more on this later) as romance
movies usually go: it is utterly inappropriate.
A: I love you.
B: Oh. I'm gonna think about that (and give you my answer.)
Answer what? "A" just said they love you. They expressed their feeling
toward you as a person. Expressing your feeling need not (and in fact,
cannot) have an answer at all.
For further explanation, and to make things more clear, let's replace the word
"love" with its opposite, "hate".
A: I hate you.
B: Oh. I'm gonna think about that (and give you my answer.)
Feels stupid right? Now revert "hate" back to "love" and you'll get me right.
The Alternative
For the intention of staying on-context, let's assume by "love" you mean
"romantic attraction". Yeah I know: Love and romantic attraction are two
different things, and that's why I find "I love you" a very, very stupid phrase
to utter.
If you have to verbally express you're having a romantic attraction toward
someone, well, do that. I personally believe it's mostly unnecessary given that
actions express better than words.
Now, if you want to be in a romantic relationship with someone, just say you do,
don't inaparopriately use phrases like "I love you" to mean "I want to be in a
romantic relationship with you." Just say the latter.
However, if you just want to express your emotions, while fearing that the other
party may mistake you for wanting a romantic relationship with them (because for
many cases, mutual attraction leads to a relationship), just point them to this
article. In fact, that's why I had written it in the first place!
"Confessing Your Love"
Yeah, we all admit that we sometimes do bad things, but personally I don't
believe loving someone (or particularly having a romantic attraction toward
them) can be one of these bad things. Like, what the hell? I don't know if
it's just me or the word "confess" do really have bad connotations, I'm not
native in English anyway.
The Alternative
Maybe just "expressing your love" (and "hate", "anger", "joy" for that matter.)
Who thought things could be easier?
"Falling in Love"
Now I'm going to be a bit tough (read rational): Love is not a hole to fall in.
Love, and any emotion in general, happens as a response of your interaction with
the world, seriously mate, it's just a fucking feeling.
The Alternative
I don't think "Falling in Love" is meaningful at all so it needs have an
alternative. Really.
Fin